Skills For Successful Student Affairs Staffing

Not long ago I was interviewed by a graduate student in Higher Education. One of the questions he asked was, “What do you do best?” Now, that could have been a very loaded question, but the answer came easily. Years ago I might have opined about strategic planning, but in the last few years, I have come to understand that talent identification and development are the most impactful skills that I possess. As leaders, our reputations are enhanced or diminished by the teams that we build. Developing the following skills will allow you to add these essential capabilities to your professional arsenal.

Talent Identification

Know What You Want

When starting the recruitment process, it is critical to identify specific needs. Recruitment is the “who, what, when, why” of talent identification. Be crystal clear on skill sets but do not overlook the often, overused descriptor, “fit.” Everyone’s resume typically looks good, but not everyone is a good fit—temperament and style/pace of work matter!

I want to be around diverse, smart, creative, high-energy (which doesn’t necessarily mean extroverted or “woo” prone) folks. I am attracted to candidates with a pioneer spirit, who possess a passionate confidence in their work and a keen commitment to excellence.

Know What You Do Not Want

Hiring misfires are costly not only with time and finances, but poor performers leave an “emotional wake” which wreaks havoc on a team both during and after their tenure. Misfires have to do with misreading a candidate’s skill-set and/or institutional “fit.” Most hiring misfires happen because we often believe the replacement needs to happen right away, and unfortunately, the process gets truncated. Be patient and remember that there is plenty of time to make sure that the person you bring to the team is the right hire. Take time to sift more information off the resume, including trusted colleagues and off-list references.

Know How To Attract A Strong Candidate Pool

The talent advantage is being authentic during the search process. Take several staff members from different areas to placement, and at the conference, have them perform as the first round interview team. Just because you are hiring for Residential Life doesn’t mean that the Co-Curricular folks can’t or shouldn’t be involved. Having part of the recruitment process actually take place during the placement/conference saves a great deal of time. Once the list is narrowed down on site to 10-12, host a small gathering to see how candidates interact; good manners do count. Every meeting I have with a potential candidate starts the same way: “Let’s treat this as a conversation and not an interview.” I want to know about the things that make candidates greet the morning and what makes them feel content as their head hits the pillow. Inevitably, I learn about favorite work assignments; their “slash” job, perhaps playing gigs on the weekend; whether they are morning or evening people; and how they like to receive feedback. Treating candidates well in the process ensures that they will speak well of the institution even if not offered a position.

Know How To Onboard New Staff

Assisting new employees in starting their new job is not an afterthought. It’s good to have a schedule of activities that almost mirrors Maslow’s famous hierarchy of needs. First, make sure the move is successful and that staff assist with where to shop, docs, and important things too, like good restaurants! Make sure HR has done a thorough job providing necessary information and dates on the essentials for health and wealth care, as well as the holiday schedule. Next, it’s key to make sure there is grand welcome from the team, and that there is a round of visits to key offices. As part of on-boarding, make sure the supervisor follows up regularly, and too, clarifies the culture of the institution. Learning the environment, including all of the spoken and unspoken rules of the game, are very important for success.

Talent Development 

Sylvia A. Hewlett wrote a piece in the April 13, 2013 New York Times entitled “Mentors are Good. Sponsors Are Better.” I agree with Ms. Hewlett, and offer a slight suggestion from a quote so often used with student leaders that I am certain they think I made it up; I have not.

“Good, Better, Best never let it rest until your Good is Better and your Better, Best.”

This sums up the relationships among coaching, mentoring and sponsorship. As the next stage of “onboarding” and deepening an employee’s relationship with the institution, opportunities for coaching, mentoring and sponsorship should be available. Although I am writing about employer/employee relationships, some of the best coaching, mentoring and sponsorship do not include a work relationship. Some of the best I’ve seen come from collegial relationships and great friends in our field.

Coaching is Good

It is important to assist employees adjusting to new roles and responsibilities and coaching is an empowering approach for successful transitions. Employers coaching employees are concerned with skill development, possessing a keen understanding of university culture and the abilities for team collaboration. One of the most important coaching opportunities for employers is providing clarity for job expectations and performance. To be effective, coaching should be constructive and consistent, and there should be a measure of employee accountability. All in all, good coaching provides employees opportunities for growth and “course correction” when necessary.

Mentoring is Better

Mentoring takes coaching to the next level, as the relationship between employer and employee deepens. Mentees often see mentors as the “go-to” person, the person with political acumen, and important institutional knowledge. Mentors often teach mentees the “ropes": how and where decisions are made and often impart leadership lessons learned. Mentors are interested in the mentee’s success at the university and often serve as rolemodels.

Sponsorship is Best

Sponsorship takes mentoring from being interested in another’s success to being engaged in creating opportunities for their success. This relationship is one in which both parties have a deep and abiding trust, respect and similar belief structures around success—what it is and what it looks like. Sponsors have capacity to propel a protégé’s career path. This investment requires a willingness on the part of the protégé to deliver results—both reputations are now at stake!

To create and sustain a phenomenal Student Affairs team takes engagement from all of its members: trust building, recognition of individual and team strengths, diverse points of view, having fun outside of work, remembering everyone has a family life, and keeping the passion alive for the important work that we do each and every day…changing student lives!

Twelfth Night Revelry: A New Year’s Resolution or Goal?

The sound of “Happy New Year” rings a bit longer for those in academia.  Once the spring semester begins, faculty/staff return to work and students to classes, the New Year seems well underway.  And, in New Orleans once Christmas decorations are packed, it’s time for Twelfth Night and the beginning of Carnival leading to Mardi Gras.  I can’t help but think about the resolutions made December 31 and January 1. The number one resolution folks make nationally includes losing weight and exercise;  by the time the Phunny Phorty Phellows ride the street car down St. Charles Avenue, those resolutions have included a healthy slice of king cake and an adult beverage.

What is the difference between making resolutions and setting goals?  According to several dictionary sources, a resolution has more to do with the desire to act and a goal is a declaration that something will happen; there is an element of active engagement. Studies show that folks who make resolutions fail primarily because they make too many, the resolutions are too broad in scope, and frankly people get bored and forget what they were so resolute about on January 1. So perhaps in this New Year we make goals that are attainable instead of resolutions that fade as quickly as a new desire appears.

New Year’s goals could follow the old, tried and true S.M.A.R.T process; ok, go ahead and squelch that yawn! If you’ve taken an elementary business class, you have heard all of this before, BUT now you have an opportunity to put it into real action.  New Year’s goals should be Specific, Measureable, Achievable, Realistic, and Timely.

Seriously, think how much further ahead you would be by spring break or your high school reunion this summer if you started with something specific. Things like lose weight, study more, exercise, save money and travel are too general.  The specificity we are looking for comes in a clearly defined outcome. The goal must be tangible and so the measure of success is real. The goal should also not be slam dunk or too difficult, it should be a slight stretch but achievable and realistic. In setting goals, giving ourselves an appropriate time frame for our accomplishments is essential.

So what are you waiting for? Mardi Gras will soon be here, and on we go to Spring Break, Jazz Fest, Graduation, Summer Fun, Orientation, the start of school, Fall Break, Halloween, Thanksgiving, the holidays and #BAM January 1, 2016.  Will we have had the “will” to make the difference that mattered to us today? 

The Gift of Authenticity

The Gift of Authenticity: Once you are Real you can’t become unreal again.  It lasts for always. -- Margery Williams

Several years ago, I received The Velveteen Rabbit as a Christmas gift.  It is a favorite of mine and especially poignant on the topics of self-acceptance, vulnerability and authenticity.  If you are a fan of the book as well, you’ll remember the conversations between The Velveteen Rabbit and Old Skin Horse.  One particular conversation they shared about being real went like this:

“Real isn’t how you are made.  It’s a thing that happens to you.  When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.

'Does it hurt?' asked the Rabbit. 

'Sometimes,' said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. 'When you are Real you don't mind being hurt.' 

'Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,' he asked, 'or bit by bit?' 

'It doesn't happen all at once,' said the Skin Horse. 'You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand.”   -Margery Williams, The Velveteen Rabbit

Old Skin Horse understands the importance of loving oneself- the good, the bad and the ugly- and offering that same transformative love to others.  At the heart of becoming Real, is the acceptance of being perfectly imperfect.

“I suppose you are Real said Rabbit.  And then he wished he had not said it, for he thought the Skin Horse might be sensitive.  But the Skin Horse only smiled.”  Skin Horse smiles because he accepts his authentic self and therefore can truly love Rabbit, wear and tear and missing eyes.

May the season of Christmas gift us with becoming real in our relationships with ourselves, family, friends, and the stranger among us. Tuck the voice of the Skin Horse away…

"Real isn't something you are, it's something you become."

Mission Moment

Last week I was in San Diego on faculty at the ACPA Institute for Aspiring Senior Student Affairs Officers.  I had the privilege of discussing Parker Palmer’s terrific work entitled, “Let Your Life Speak- Listening for the Voice of Vocation.”  About a year ago or so I wrote a blog about vocation, and in light of my trip, I’d like to share it with you.

Call Me, Maybe
I like the word vocation.  It’s not used so much anymore; I think the word got hijacked.  Having a vocation at one time was a noble calling.  Somewhere the word lost a bit of luster, and vocation or Vo-Tech became a synonym for a job, not a career, much less a calling.  Vocational education reverberated with ideas of “shop” and “home economics” in high school.  The word career resonates with seriousness of purpose and longevity. A watch and chair might be involved, and at the end of a career you retire.  I don’t think you can retire from a vocation.

The word vocation is defined as our life work based on particular skills, talents and strengths.  You know you are in the midst of career well-being when you are able to bring your gifts to work and back home again.  You recognize the great responsibility of using and sharing your strengths daily to impact the lives of others, and it doesn’t happen just between 8 am – 5 pm; in our profession it’s called the 24/7.

This might be controversial but I am not a big fan of all the talk around “balance at work.”  I am a fan of using strengths at work and at home so that you are continually engaged in a higher quality of living.  You see, playing from the gifts you’ve been given, being grateful, reflective and having agency over the decisions and choices you make is spot on for career well-being; for nurturing the feeling of being called (vocation) for a purpose and uncovering your mission in life.

Call me, maybe…is “wishy-washy.”  How about just “Call” me. Pick me to do the work, choose me to love!  (No, I do not have significance or self-assurance in my top 10!) But I have found my calling, so I say “yes” to the morning, “yes” to the work at hand even when it’s challenging and painful. As Parker Palmer would say, I am “listening for the voice of vocation.” Exuding energy, engagement and enthusiasm for your life’s work is a clear signal you’ve been called! Have confidence about what you love doing and the curiosity to know your authentic self.  Have the courage to live your strengths and have the agency to calibrate when necessary.  Calibration of strengths is an act of compassion, an awareness of others and critical to your well-being and those around you.

Parker Palmer poses the hardest question we all have to answer, “Is the life I am living the same as the life that wants to live in me?”  The answer is “before telling your life what truths and values you have decided to live up to, let your life tell you what truths you embody, what values you represent.” Trust your strengths.  Finally, Fredrick Buechner wrote, “to find your mission is to discover the intersection between your heart’s deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger.”  There’s no retirement plan for this kind of living out your strengths; vocation has no end date.

kin•ship

noun \ˈkin-ˌship\
: the state of being related to the people in your family
: a feeling of being close or connected to other people

Fr. Gregory Boyle S.J., founder and executive director of Homeboy Industries, the largest gang intervention, rehabilitation and re-entry program in the country visited the campus of Loyola New Orleans September 15, 2014. To a full house, he talked about the importance of universal kinship. One of his main points: to heal our broken world we must find our way to being in relationship with one another. This form of “kinship” transcends differences and opens up to what Fr. Boyle calls “the power of boundless compassion.”

Often folks on campuses are set up to cooperate with one another but not truly collaborate. Cooperation simply means I agree to do something for you to assist you in getting something done. Collaboration means folks form true partnerships to create together. Collaboration would call us to be "kin"- partners in the outcome. Not such a radical idea, but often difficult in practice.

In Fr. Boyle’s book, “Tattoos on the Heart: The Power of Boundless Compassion,” he writes “Mother Theresa diagnosed the world’s ills in this way:  we’ve just forgotten that we belong to each other. Kinship is what happens to us when we refuse to let that happen.  With kinship as the goal, other essential things fall into place; without it no justice, no peace.  I suspect that were kinship our goal, we would no longer be promoting justice—we would be celebrating it.”

There are so many places on a campus for kinship to develop. We tend to gravitate to places where we feel “one with others.”  For students it can be a class, residence hall, leadership meeting or music recital or athletic practice; for faculty/staff it can be one’s office, the endless number of committee meetings and the faculty/staff dining room.  The place isn’t nearly as important as arriving in the space and being authentically accepted.  Fr. Boyle believes that “kinship is not serving the other but being with the other.  Jesus was not a man for others; he was one with them. There is a world of difference in that.”

As we move into the season of fall, let us remember what Fr. Boyle teaches “no life is less valuable than another.” Let us throw light on the ways in which we bring goodness to our work together. 

Student Affairs and the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge: An OUTPOURING of Support

The ALS ice bucket challenge sweeping twitter and facebook had three things in common: a mission that mattered; familiarity with folks who issued the challenges; and the opportunity to participate in a world-wide fundraising event. For the Loyola student affairs staff the challenge brought together passionate Saint’s fans, who remembered the poignant graduation speech by Steve Gleason, and presented an opportunity to raise money for #No White Flags.  www.teamgleason.org 

Borrowing from one of my favorite Broadway soundtracks, Wicked, “no good deed goes unpunished.” Critics flew faster than flying monkeys to mock the many participating in the challenge, but make no mistake, raising more than a hundred million dollars for ALS made a difference to those that live with the devastating disease and those who care for them. It is interesting that many would choose to judge intentions rather than celebrate a successful campaign.

For most of us, philanthropy is a personal matter.  We often don’t discuss the “who, what, when, where and how” of donating to the cause that tugs at our heart. We usually participate in philanthropic causes when the cause is somehow connected to us.  I have not donated to ALS in the past, but because the challenge came to me from colleagues I respect I decided to participate, donate and enjoy the comradeship of staff and students.  Standing on the front lawn of Loyola I remembered vividly the loving words Steve Gleason shared about his wife and child, and the mission, familiarity and opportunity came to life.

 My parents both died of cancer when I was in my 30’s. I am drawn to wearing a pink bracelet in October, not out of some cliquish fad, but as a reminder. I donate in their names, but I wear the bracelet out of solidarity with others who have lost loved ones to cancer, and for those who fight on to regain their healthy life. So whether it’s the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge, Race for the Cure, or the Leukemia Lymphoma Society’s “Light Up the Night,” events are only avenues to bring the mission that matters home.

Broken Shells

Wandering the beach I keep an eye out for the beauty of the broken shell; the shell shaped by rough tosses on the sand.  While others may find joy in the perfect shell, untouched and untarnished by the power of the sea, I prefer the corkscrew middles polished bright. 

My favor of broken shells always presents opportunities.  There is an abundance of misshapen shells and sand dollar halves. I am never disappointed in my quest for perfection at the shore.  Yes, beauty is often in the eye of the beholder!

One day walking in the shallows, I leaned over and picked up a newly broken sand dollar; the other half was tossed on the sand.  The thought struck me, no matter how one tried to put the halves together again, the sand dollar is what it is…broken.  Yes, you could glue the two halves together but the fault line is always there.

Perhaps I identify more readily with the beauty of a shell worn soft by sea and sand; the shell that has tumbled, landing broken in all the right places.  In John Legend’s latest hit, he sings a song about his wife, and one line stands out for me:  Your perfect imperfections.  How beautiful to be loved with all our fault lines.

The summer presents us with opportunities for self-reflection and a sense of renewal.  As the start of a new school year begins may we be gracious in the ways we interact with one another—the fault lines are also among the gems.

The Funny Thing About Time

The academic calendar is a distinct measure of time.  August brings an onslaught of activities as we prepare to welcome our new and returning students.  We say, “Happy New Year” right about the time folks, in other walks of life, celebrate Labor Day.  To those of us in the academy, the fall signifies new starts, new energy, and new hope.  As winter holidays approach, students scatter to their families and professors and staff hunker down for a brief respite from the swirl of the season. In hallways and over coffee we talk about how quickly the fall semester has gone, and begin again anticipating the start of the “real” New Year.

Spring semester starts early, in fact a couple days after New Year’s Eve we welcome transfer students, get them settled with rooms, meal plans and schedules. January in New Orleans also signifies the start of Carnival.  Between new classes, new activities, the approach of Mardi Gras and spring break…the time literally flies like a NYX bedazzled purse off a passing float!  The senior tradition of 100th night (100 nights before graduation) is upon us, and seniors are wondering “where has all the time gone?”

April/May might be as busy as late August and September.  These are the months every office and department squeezes in anything they may have wanted to do but have not done yet! The college is full of graduation revelry from student awards receptions to the annual senior tradition “Maroon & Gold.”Here I pause with the President, before his toast to the graduating class, and marvel that their time is coming to an end; graduation is but a day away. It’s a bittersweet time.

The energy new and returning students bring in August has you falling in love with your work over and over again. It’s the excitement of new possibilities!Similarly, when the last student crosses the stage at graduation you can’t help but feel as though you are breathing a sigh of relief. That sigh is the call of summer. Summer is the time to recharge, regroup, and recover. Summer is the season of renewal; a time to go deeper with our planning, catch up on professional reading and writing. Summer is here and it too, will fly by…and in early August we’ll be ready to say “Happy New Year!”

An Unabashed Fan.

Two weeks ago, at the 95th annual National Association of Student Personnel Administrators conference, I was invited with an inaugural group of presenters to launch NASPA SA Speaks.  The format was similar to the popular TED talks (www.ted.com).   Presenters had an opportunity to explore a topic of their choosing, and were asked to speak for 10-12 minutes about their chosen theme. When I arrived in the room, the crowd was milling around and it was hard to tell if it would be a full house.  Within minutes of the program starting, all seats were full; folks lined the walls and sat on the floor.  As every public speaker knows, this is when your mouth goes suddenly and completely dry.

I started the program showing this amazing YouTube video “The Human Spirit” (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fiZ-hF9d9Rw). 

It has a powerful opening, and I knew that it would have a strong impact with the NASPA crowd.  Oh, how I wish it had worked that way! The hotel Wi-Fi was so poor; the video immediately started buffering.  After two failed attempts at a correction, it was show time, with NO audience hook!  Life happens.

My 12 minute focus: Discovering spirituality in leadership and bringing our whole selves to work.

I cautioned listeners that the “spirit talk” wasn’t going to be the soft, feel good message.  This wasn’t just about authenticity, but in large measure my message called for a deliberate dose of respect for one another.  I do not believe that you can go to work and separate your mind, body, spirt.  In other words, you don’t leave your spirit at home on your way to the office.  Your spirit (however defined) comes with you regardless of what work you do.  By definition, spirit is the inner quality or nature of a person.  You can’t escape having spirit; you can decide how you want it defined.

Folks often define spirit in terms of a belief system, and in fact those who are agnostic or atheist actually have a non-exclusive belief system as well.  In some ways, owning your belief system is the last “coming out” story.  For a time it seemed if you mentioned that you were a person of faith in the academy, it had the connotation of being anti-intellectual.  So, at NASPA I came out; "I am an unabashed fan of Jesus."  As I said this, looking around the room, I could tell by the crowd’s reaction that they were already making assumptions about me.

So I took it a bit further and said, "I work at a Jesuit, Catholic university, was raised Episcopal, have an eclectic spirituality and a Muslim step-mother."  I questioned the group; "hearing this how do you begin reframing your assumptions about my 'spirit'?”  We need to be freer to bring our whole selves to the office.  Practicing a leadership that is inclusive of mind, body and spirit only makes sense, especially in higher education.  It doesn’t make sense that our moral thinking and ethical decision-making can be separate from our inward life, from spirit.

Leadership includes the qualities of power, influence and execution.  It also, no doubt includes and offers opportunities for service and grace.  In leadership roles, we should invite members of the Academy to share and live their spiritual truths without judgment.  The Academy is stronger when interfaith dialogue enhances the mind, body, spirit connectedness among us.

DR. M.L. “CISSY” PETTY AWARDED THE NATIONAL STUDENT AFFAIRS PILLAR OF THE PROFESSION

Each year at the National Association of Student Personnel Administrators (NASPA) conference the NASPA Foundation recognizes distinguished individuals who serve as leaders, teachers, and scholars in student affairs and higher education.  On March 17, 2014, the NASPA Foundation honored Dr. Petty and 12 colleagues from across the nation.  To many, the NASPA Pillar of the Profession is a “lifetime achievement award” signifying excellence in service to the field of student affairs. A highlight of the event was a personal letter to her, from the President of the United States, Barack Obama, thanking her for the difference she makes in the profession of student affairs and her commitment to the values of education. When asked about this honor, she replied, “I am humbled by this recognition, and owe success to terrific partnerships across campus, building talented student affairs teams, and my passion for seeing students develop.” 

Mardi Gras Mambo, 2014

In New Orleans, the shortest month of the year has some amazing moments!  How many places in the country does work stop for an entire week of revelry?  A week dedicated purely to returning to childlikeness.  I know of absolutely nowhere, at 50+, you get away with wearing a tutu and a hot pink wig.  Not that I did this, but many of my friends did.

It’s an interesting cultural phenomenon called Mardi Gras.  As a member of one of the largest all women’s krewes, Carnival is embedded in my NOLA experience.  As much as I try and resist bead clamoring, I go home many evenings wondering why my back hurts.  Is it the jumping up and down screaming, me, me, me…or more likely that I am wearing every big bead thrown in my direction.  To the dismay of my friends, I have been known to snatch beads out of thin air.  You have to be incredibly strategic as you move along St. Charles with the floats.  I practice my Strengths Quest profile along the parade route.

• Strategic: Sidewalk or Neutral Ground? Always looking for alternative routes while snaking through the crowd
• Maximizer: Who can help me get the best beads?  Make sure to share the bounty!
• Activator: Keep up with the ACTION, which means hydrate often; enlist assistance with guarding your stake along the route!
• Ideation:  Remain fascinated by folks sharing in the Mardi Gras tradition. Pay careful attention not to jostle a ladder.
• Connectedness:   Every event has a reason and Mardi Gras is a celebration of all that is distinctively NOLA.

Once another season of Carnival is over, we begin to look forward to spring renewal; a wonderful move from Fat Tuesday to Ash Wednesday.  This is a time for reflection on the gifts we’ve been given and the gifts we can give to one another.  I do not think of this as so much a time of sacrifice, but a time of cleansing mind, body and spirit.  May your Lenten season be a time of reflection, thanksgiving and love.

Capstone

“We don’t know all the reasons that propel us on a spiritual journey, but somehow our life compels us to go.  Something in us knows that we are not just here to toil at our work.  There is a mysterious pull to remember.”

-Jack Kornfield, from After the Ecstasy, the Laundry.

Last weekend was the “capstone” experience for the 18 month Ignatian Colleague Program.  In preparation for this formal ending, we were invited to reflect on what the program meant both personally and professionally. 

First of all, I’d like to publically thank President Kevin W. Wildes, SJ and Vice President for Mission & Ministry, Ted Dziak, SJ for their support and encouragement.  I would also like to thank the Student Affairs team who graciously stepped in during my time away from the office. 

Our study on discernment was particularly meaningful; Fr. Nicholas’ address was exceptional. While the four pre-requisites for good decision making made good sense, they also promoted sufficient challenges:

1.     A community of shared values
2.     Freedom
3.     Generosity
4.     Selflessness

The above points are fraught with various political outcomes.  In an ideal community, given that the four points are uniformly embraced by all members, good decision making would certainly be easier to enact.

The beauty of our institution is that many are drawn for mission-centric reasons, and for the noble purpose of teaching and service.  I was especially moved by Nicholas’ quote:  “The people in community need not all think alike, because when everyone easily agrees, probably not everyone is thinking.  BUT the members of the community need to have the same fundamental values, because if they don’t have the same values, they cannot arrive at the same objectives.”

Good decision making must also incorporate ‘freedom.’  The process of arriving at a good decision needs to provide opportunities for inclusion and expression (the good, the bad and the ugly) without penalty.  Once a vetted decision is reached, if it isn’t the one you favored, you support the collective decision.  This is the ideal use of positional power.

Generosity of skill, talent, and resources must be available for good decisions to be manifested.  This is especially difficult in financially troubling times.  We must fight our natural desire to ‘have enough.’  This is very similar to selflessness, giving what is needed with no regard for what is being given up for “the greater good.”

Balancing both an educated mind and intuitive soulfulness is a God given gift, and I am grateful.

The Lighthouse

Two weeks ago, I had the privilege of visiting the Eastern Point Retreat Center in Gloucester, MA. I went on an 8 day silent retreat with some of my cohorts in the Ignatian Colleagues Program. Here’s a small part of what I learned.

One thing the rocks of Gloucester, MA taught me is every step has a consequence. These grand boulders are not for folks with weak knees, back issues, or lacking good balance. Every rock counts. Every step matters.

When the seals arrived, I knew that I would make a careful trek down the rocks. Some rocks were dry, some covered in algae, and all took calculation. Sr. Irene stood watching the seals, watched me begin my climb. It took me nearly 90 minutes roundtrip and she never left her post. In the middle of my climb, when I was most certain that I’d made a poor choice, I turned back to see if someone was nearby in case of a fall. There she stood by the shore, like a lighthouse and gave me a slight wave.

Her presence sent me further, with more confidence and renewed energy. Once again I turned, and she was still standing her ground.
Lighthouses come in all shapes and sizes; dotted along the coast, few sea lovers can resist the pull to visit. Perhaps just the words “light” and “house” conjure up a sense of safe passage and security. Maybe in some wayward sense, we need our own lighthouse or at least someone willing to hold the light for us.

Who stands for you, offering you light? Who do you stand for with watchful eyes? These questions followed me as later in the day I laid on a warm rock in the sun.

I didn’t know Sr. Irene, only through passing one another in the halls of the Eastern Point Retreat Center. We were both on our own spiritual journeys; hers a 30 day retreat, mine only 8 days…both silent. But I felt a connection and before leaving I knew we’d become friends.

She’d been my lighthouse and I am grateful.

Lean In to the one voice that matters

Many of my friends and colleagues have read or are in the midst of reading Sheryl Sandberg’s book “Lean In.”  The content of the book has certainly garnered its share of rave reviewers and snipers.  Sandberg leans into the criticism and acknowledges that she has led a privileged life; however privilege may allow entrance but it doesn’t guarantee a voice at the table.

Finding one’s voice is perhaps the single most important life and leadership lesson.  You cannot have a successful relationship at home or at work without the ability to be authentic, vulnerable; speaking your mind while minding your manners.  Having a ‘voice’ at the table rather the board room or dinner still requires strength and courtesy.

There have been many times in my own career when I have been interrupted while trying to get a point across; I have had both men and women talk over me.  It reminds me of a large family eating and folks all reaching for the last biscuit.  I have in turn interrupted others, not listened well, all in the name of scrambling for a foot hold on sharing the best idea.

When I hear the words “lean in” I think of slowing the process down.  Taking the mantle of authority down a peg and listening to one another fully.  Leaning in requires us to take stock of our strengths, acknowledge what we know and don’t know.  Leaning in is the pre-requisite to leading on.

Finding your voice requires patience, respect, timing and will.  Having others desiring your voice at the table requires competence, courage, and the willingness to speak truth to power.

"What Would You Do If You Weren't Afraid" is a new project by Sheryl Sandberg and the Lean In team that asks the question and inspires stories. More information can be found at www.ifuwerentafraid.tumblr.com.  

Nuevo Amancecer (New Dawn)

"In the eyes of the children the future of hope and promise lives.
Laughter rings in an unfinished school yard.
It echoes in my mind, as I think of our state-of- the art gym. 
No cares as one small girl twirls across a barren field,
and a young boy chases a barely inflated ball.
Teachers beam with pride and passion.
All eyes bright, while envisioning the new dawn."

This summer I accompanied 19 colleagues from other American Jesuit, Catholic colleges to Nicaragua. Our immersion trip presented opportunities to experience solidarity with the Nicaraguan people, their culture, their history and our collective future.

Each morning in the relative safety of our hotel, surrounded by barbed wire I drank coffee and tried to capture my feelings from the previous day. It’s one thing to travel to a third world country and only see the first world tourist side, this had been my experience. Many times I’ve left the airport, through cities and countryside only to arrive at a beautiful location for tourists. This trip I felt more like a pilgrim. While there certainly weren’t hardships for us, emotionally I was now seeing things from “the inside out.” I am clearly embracing the idea that our collective wellbeing is tied to one another.

We were well prepared for the trip, having spent time reading, journaling and talking to our cohorts by phone. As a group we bonded well, enjoying the camaraderie of a lived, shared experience. Each evening we gathered to share what we saw and how it moved us. The beauty, in the shared reflections, was the ability to immerse ourselves in other’s experiences.

We met amazing strong women of faith, those who’d been through the Sandinista revolution, and those that teach at the nearby Fe Y Alegria Jesuit School. They were articulate, passionate and strong in spite of often desperate living and eating conditions. We met talented craftsmen and women who again had deep pride in their work, their art. In our travels, we witnessed homes bare to the elements; school-aged children doing homework under a tarp in the rain. Most often, in all of our conversations and meetings, I was struck by familial ties, and pride in their work. It was a privilege to be with them.

My experiences are still with me. I continue to sift what it all means, and what I will do with all I’ve seen and heard. I left Nicaragua having a deeper appreciation of the Jesuit commitment to a faith that does justice. The painting above is one I purchased in Esteli, Nicaragua. It spoke to me. The poem I wrote on my return. I hope it speaks to you.